moved on

Since my beloved Dokhtare Aftab stopped working for a while I started writing che kasi ...

captive

People! What is this!? Now I don't even get to choose the template! Just bare with me, I might be able to figure something.

no falling leaves

I just called to say I Love You and I mean it from the bottom of my heart ... I couldn't turn the key and get out of the car. It was 16 years ago, I can't believe it, 16! A new country, a new land and a new language. I don't know what made my dad record the songs we were hearing as he drove me to school for the first time in this new territory of ours, but it sure helped keep those memories alive. I never forget ... and when the radio plays those old songs tears circle my eyes. Daddy's girl is all grown up now and no one knows that it's the child in her that walks her through the days of her life ...

connected

Give people the space and you'd be surprised the means they find to communicate with ...

شامه

... بوی دریا می آد

sunshine

I want to go out in the sun and dance. I can feel how happy my skin is with all this sun, I can't ask for anything more ...

memories

They found 7 min of motion picture from downtown Vancouver from 100 years ago. They went through the same route with the same camera settings today and made the One Century Later movie of it, how cute is that!

Not that this would shadow the biggest Sun Run to date, and it was awesome weather today ...

shores

Is it happening? Am I getting what I asked for? Finally! I guess I'll know in a while, but for the first time in my life I am calm, patient and understanding. Believe me, I have grown up so much that I can barely believe it myself!

overheard

As I drove into the gas station I read the price 116.5, as I lifted the nozzle I looked up again 110.5, did Harper hear that I am so upset with the gas prices?

politics

Harper promised tax cuts on fuel before he became prime minister, now he is just saying we should get used to the prices! And what's with getting so lovy dovy with Mulroney, everyone knows you are not environmental friendly!

reincarnation

Thank God I can always dance everything out of my system!

ad in the Peak

recursion

What did I just do? How come I am making so many decisions these days so easily? or maybe it's the right thing to do, it does feel ok ... maybe I have thought about it over and over before and it just happens that I'm taking action these days ... you never know ...

this one?

I am going to be playing around a little with the template until I get what I had back, forgive me for any inconvenience ...

change?

No people, I haven't decided to change my template to this dotty thing. Truth be told I couldn't publish for a few days and finally Mehdi proposed that the problem may be coming from my template, so I tried altering it to a default and here you are ... I'm working on it though, be back soon!

trouble

You know, some days no matter what you do everything turns out wrong! Yeah, I kind of had one of those today ...

out

I don't know why, but right now it feels like I am not living this life. Not in a bad way, it just feels that I am watching everything happen while I have no access, no ability and no desire to change anything. You wouldn't be able to tell from the outside, I look pretty much the way I usually do, but it feels like my mind is somewhere else, occupied with something else ... it's weird and calm where I am right now ... maybe these are the first signs of going crazy ...

destiny

I don't know how much I believe in destiny, in the fact that some things are just meant to be ... what I do know though is that everything lately has been happening so as to make me believe in it ... yet it's like I can't trust it. I keep telling myself that it's just a coincidence, it doesn't really mean anything ... on the other hand I can't fool myself, there is a tie between what goes on and what is distant, isn't there?

paradise

I can't believe how powerful some emotions can be, I still cry every time I think about it, after so many years ... what an ocean, what strength, ... no wonder I have always felt the sky is my limit ... nothing has tied me down ...

wrapped

I just might have become involved in something good ... I'll tell you if it goes through ...

a family

I went to a friends house, forget the reason ... there were two of us there who were not married. The average age of people there was about 5 years older than me and many of them had kids. My friend freaked out a little about the babies ... after a while I found myself in a conversation saying I am sure I'm ready for the baby, not that sure about the babies daddy ... I guess I am just used to saying that, the case has usually been that the daddy is not ready to be a dad ... we went to a coffee shop ... the label on my tea said a day full of promise ... I wonder what that was?! is?!

bliss

Who said happiness comes in forms you expect? I think if you have a specific shape and size in mind you'll never find it, just keep your heart open and see how it embraces joy ... even if it rains all day long day after day ...

timelines

I just went through a couple of days with no voice; I knew I was good at enjoying whatever hits me, but I would never have guessed I could have so much fun being sick. Not that I liked having a cold, that was miserable, but we laughed so much about the voice part. Maybe some of it was because I'd been away for a while and missed home ... anyway, that's behind me, oh and even the final exam I had is over. Now I have the final project and my desertion ... it's gonna be a long time till July ...

عادت

گهگاهی اتفاق می افته که به دلیلی از دلایل من صدام رو از دست می دم. اولین بار وقتی اتفاق افتاد که قرار بود یه شعر از بنده ناقابل رو توی شب شعری که برگزار می کردیم بخونم، بگذریم ... اینبار جالبتر از همه چیز واکنش بقیه است. هرکی باهام حرف می زنه رفته رقته آرومتر و آرومتر حرف می زنه تا مثل من آخرش داره زمزمه می کنه! چقدر عادتهامون به زندگیمون احاطه دارن و ما اصلا بهشون فکر نمی کنیم

miss you

I step off the train
I'm walking down your street again and past your door
But you don't live there any more
It's years since you've been there
But now you've disappeared somewhere like outer space
You've found some better place
And I miss you - like the deserts miss the rain
And I miss you - like the deserts miss the rain ....

- Missing, Todd Terry

Las Vegas

It was so different from what I had expected. Yes, there were neon lights and nightclubs, but there was so much more to see. Exhibitions, shows and spectacular music ... the dinner in Paris and the walk through Venice ... so romantic! I spent the nights walking on the strip and the days attending the conference ... it was fun and it was an awesome break. I tossed so many pennies into the water and made wishes over and over again ...
You know, I thought I'd be alone and I'd have to go around by myself. Good guessing from a friend, he said: "You, alone?! You'll find someone there." He was right, I did and what a great time we had ... what an awesome group of people ...
Now I'm sitting here in my friend's place updating my blog after a couple of days ... I guess I'll be glad to get back home, it's about time, although, I do have an exam when I get back ...

once upon a time

Tomorrow, Wednesday, April 5, 2006, at two minutes and three seconds past 1:00am, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06, you won't see a day like that in a long time!

بدرود

رفتم سبزه رو انداختم توی آب، چه هوایی! حالا می رم دوردورا سبزه گره بزنم، حافظ گفته خوب نمی شه که گوش ندم. نمی دونم اونجا چقدر به اینترنت بازی برسم، اگه همدیگه رو ندیدیم تا هفته دیگه فعلا خداحافظ

خاک را بدرودی کردم و شهر را
چرا که او، نه در زمین و شهر و نه در دیاران بود.

آسمان را بدرود کردم و مهتاب را
چرا که او، نه عطرِ ستاره نه آوازِ آسمان بود.

نه از جمعِ آدمیان نه از خیلِ فرشتگان بود،
که اینان هیمه‌ دوزخند
و آن یکان
در کاری بی‌اراده
به زمزمه‌ئی خواب‌آلوده
خدای را
تسبیح‌می‌گویند.

سرخوش و شادمانه فریادبرداشتم:

ای شعرهایِ من، سروده و ناسروده!
سلطنتِ شما را تردیدی نیست
اگر او به تنهایی
خواننده‌ شما باد!

شاملو -

خویش

امشب دور هم رسیدیم به اونجا که شروع کردیم به فال گرفتن:

ما آزموده ایم درین شهر بخت خویش ............ بیرون کشید باید از این ورطه رخت خویش

از بس که دست می گزم و آه میکشم ............. آتش زدم چو گل به دل لخت لخت خویش

دوشم ز بلبلی چه خوش آمد که می سرود ....... گل گوش پهن کرده ز شاخ درخت خویش

کای دل تو شاد باش که آن یار تند خوی ........ بسیار تند روی نشیند ز بخت خویش

خواهی که سخت و سست جهان بر تو بگذرد .. بگذر ز عهد سست و سخنهای سخت خویش

ای حافظ ار مراد میسر شدی مدام ................ جمشید نیز دور نماندی ز تخت خویش

بنظر می رسد که حافظ اولا کاملا به وضعیت موجود احاطه دارد و ثانیا موافق است که من سیزده رو خارج از ونکور بدر کنم، تا چه قبول افتد و چه در نظر آید

shattered

I'm just too honest, too pure, for the world I live in. Each time that someone betrays my trust I tell myself that it won't happen again, I tell myself that I will learn from them and act like they do ... but it's no use, when the time comes I am just a child with a heart of gold ... and they break my heart every time ... I spend time and delicacy piecing it together just to hand it to someone else who will do the same ... I wonder if a day will come that I just can't find all the pieces to put together ... will I have become one of them?

ویرانه

به من گفته بودند به آدمها اعتمادی نیست،
گفته بودند دلهاشان تنگ است
گمان کرده بودم چاره اش محبت است،
نمی دانستم سنگینیش را تاب نخواهند آورد

confession

To tell you the truth it came as a shock, I still don't know what I am going to do about it, I don't even know how I feel about it ... whatever, I'm leaving on Sunday and I am going to take a break from everything ...

time

Finally I think I have learnt, I think I have got the hang of it now. It sure seems as if trying and trying and getting it wrong paid off ... wish me luck ...

ecstasy

As they say ignorance is bliss ...

charity

I have said no to many things in my life, but when it comes to sick or needy children I just CAN'T. I have told myself over and over that I can't care for all the kids in the world no matter how hard I try so I shouldn't feel responsible, but the thought that I might even help one keeps me from saying no ... and every time I think to myself, next time I'll say no ... I kind of know that it won't happen. I guess a part of me is satisfied ...

flash

Wow I can't believe how much my life changes day by day. Each day there is something new and everyday I know I have learnt so much from yesterday. It seems everything is on fast forward ...

courage

I think some people like me just because I do the things they feel they can't do. I know it's just an illusion, I mean, there is nothing special about me that would let me to do something someone else can't. It's just that I allow myself to do it ....

chores

I heard the young light green leaves whispering spring is here in their soft voice and then I saw the trees holding out their arms to the cool breeze, mother nature is sure spreading love these days ... and for a moment it made me forget the hundred and one things that I have to do before I leave ...

!اینهم فال امسال

ای از فروغ رویت روشن چراغ دیده

خوشتر ز چشم مستت چشم جهان ندیده

همچون تو نازنینی سر تا قدم لطافت

... گیتی نشان نداده ایزد نیافریده

شاهد فال:

مزرع سبز فلک دیدم و داس مه نو

یادم از کشته خویش آمد و هنگام درو

گفتم ای بخت بخفتیدی و خورشید دمید

گفت با اینهمه از سابقه نومید مشو

سرود پنجم

اکنون رخت به سراچه آسمانی ديگر خواهم کشيد
آسمان آخرين
که ستاره تنهای آن
توئی.

آسمان روشن
سرپوش بلورين باغی
که تو تنها گل آن، تنها زنبور آنی.
باغی که تو
تنها درخت آنی
و بر آن درخت
گلی است يگانه
که توئی.

ای آسمان و درخت و باغ من، گل و زنبور و کندوی من!
با زمزمه‌ تو
اکنون رخت به گستره‌ خوابی خواهم کشيد
که تنها رويای آن
توئی.

احمد شاملو -

oxygen

As I was driving my car today the check engine sign came on and yes, I panicked. After checking with my mechanic to make sure it was ok to drive, and finishing all my shopping, I came home and surfed the web for answers. It seems that most likely the oxygen sensor has failed, although now that I think of it I will probably need to have the fuel filter replaced too. My poor little car can't breath properly, it needs oxygen!

Searching webpages for answers I came to this: "... the check engine light came on, so I checked the engine and it was still there! ... "

خرسند

تو دلم الان ضیافته. به اندازه همه دنیا کار دارم و می دونم احتمالا خیلیهاش انجام نمی شه ولی باز هم ته دلم شادترین جای دنیاست. می دونم این شروع یه چیز خوبه، می دونم جراتی که به خرج دادم و خیلی جاها زمینم زد اینبار دستم رو گرفت. اگه آخر راه هم همینجا باشه، شادم که یاد گرفتم خوشحال بودن یعنی چی

divorce

You can still see the bitterness between them, but you feel they long for one another at the same time, or at least that's what they feel right now ... like any relationship that comes to an end ... I know the feeling, you wish you could hate the person, you want to be away, but then something inside you says no.
Sitting and thinking and thinking doesn't help. Neither does trying to be logical. You're so at odds with yourself that every time you come to a different conclusion. I don't know what it is, but at a certain point you know that it's time to let go. You know the right thing is to let it pass. Truth is, time heals all those mixed feelings, and when it's all over, you can take all the time you need to make sure you have moved on ...

childish

For crying out loud, what a baby!!!

شبانه روز

خدا یه پولی به من یه عقلی به اینا بده. حالا پول من رو بی خیال عقل عجله است

!روزگار

باید بگم که یا من مستجاب الدعوه شدم یا یه معجزه رخ داده. ولی هر کدوم که باشه قبوله، آرزو کردم و برآورده شد. به این سرعت! چیزی که اصلا فکرش رو هم نمی کردم. یه کم وجدان درد دارم، اما به خدا اصلا درستش همینه ... حالا می بینیم

greetings

One of the great things about days we celebrate is that it gives you an excuse to check on your friends, some of whom you may not be in touch with a lot through the year. After the phone calls I received and the ones I made, the stack of emails I yet have to answer reminds me that there are people around the world who care enough to think of me at such times ... it fills me with joy ... I just finished answering the ones I had received before the New Year, the others I will eventually get to ... what a wonderful chore to have on your to-do list!

transition

I have changed so many times so many ways that I have lost track of it myself. And yet, the music, the music still brings back so many memories from the archives of my mind, sweet and gentle, pure beauty ... I have lived, no, I am living a miracle ...

!مبارکه مبارک

strength

There's a power in knowing what you want ...

home

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know
....
Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
I’ve got to go home

- Michael Buble

ramble

Just on the weekend that I need a little me time to get things done I have so much else to do!

call

He called me and left a message not to call him back and that he will call me ... honestly, I just saw his number and dialed ... I even left a message!

یادبود

دیدی که رسوا شد دلم، غرق تمنا شد دلم

دیدی که من با این دل بی آرزو عاشق شدم
با آنهمه آزادگی بر زلف او عاشق شدم

ای وای اگر صیاد من، غافل شود از یاد من، قدرم نداند
فریاد اگر از کوی خود، وز رشته گیسوی خود، بازم رهاند

این آهنگی است که در مجموعه گلها با صدای مرضیه و آهنگسازی علی تجویدی اجرا شد. علی تجویدی دیروز درگذشت، روانش شاد

سیب

تو به من خنديدي
و نمي دانستي
من به چه دلهره از باغچه همسايه
سيب را دزديم
باغبان از پي من تند دويد
سيب را دست تو ديد
غضب آلوده به من كرد نگاه
سيب دندان زده از دست تو افتاد به خاك
و تو رفتي و هنوز
سالهاست كه در گوش من آرام آرام
خش خش گام تو تكرار كنان
مي دهد آزارم
و من انديشه كنان غرق اين پندارم
كه چرا
خانه كوچك ما سيب نداشت

حمید مصدق -

shimmer

Thinking about time, remember the first day? Remember how you finally made up your mind? How you finally decided that it was time?
It's just over a year that I decided to start writing a blog. Thanks to Ali who gave me the final push and thanks to all of my beautiful wonderful friends, those whom I know in person and those whom I have not met, all of the great people who gave me support, left comments or emailed me to make sure I am ok or expressed joy in my happiness ... it has been an exceptional experience ...
As for now, I plan to continue writing. But if there should come a day that I should let it go, I will know that it helped me pull through hard times, enjoy happy times and celebrate life ... introduced me to new friends, made me think deeper, try to understand others better and get to know myself more ... it has been a thrill ...

so hard to love

Was it some man that didn't treat you right,
left you reaching out for him in the middle of the night
Is there some heartache that you can't out run,
that makes you so afraid to get close to anyone

You're so - easy to look at
You're so easy to hold
It's so easy to touch you,
but so hard to let go
It's so easy to want you,
that I can't get enough

Tell me why do ya have to be
why do ya have to be so hard to love

Is it some hurt from long ago,
that makes it so hard to let your feelings show
Is it the ghost of who you used to be,
that makes you so afraid to bear your soul to me

- Bryan Adams

blessings

I received the first New Year congratulations today, wow, it keeps going by faster and faster ... I am not scared of the end, it's just that I love the current state so much ...

باباطاهر

ز دست دیده و دل هر دو فریاد
که هر چه دیده ویند دل کند یاد
بسازم خنجری نیشش ز فولاد
زنم بر دیده تا دل گردد آزاد

سه درد آمو بجانم هر سه يكبار
غريبي و اسيري و غم يار
غريبي و اسيري چاره ديره
غم يار و غم يار و غم يار

دلم ميل گل و باغ ته ديره
درون سينه ام داغ ته ديره
بشم آلاله زاران لاله چينم
وينم آلاله هم داغ ته ديره

hate

Hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is.

- Bree Van De Camp (Desperate Housewives)

officially

I have been named the social person at school. My friends knew, but I never thought the other students at school would know ... interesting ...

اتمی

یه نفر پیشنهاد کرد سیاست ایران مثل شطرنجه که هر مهره اش جداگانه بازی می کنه! حرف حساب، یا به اصطلاح، یک کلمه هم از مادر عروس

tolerance

It seems to me that I shouldn't have made a big deal about it - of course compared to the usual me it wasn't that bad! No, nothing changed. I am just starting to feel more comfortable with the idea, I guess I can say I am being more understanding ... I am so glad, I want this to work ... oh, so maybe it's because I have decided to make it work this time around ... I mean talking about it, I felt it was ok ...

oddly enough!

I sure did get off the wrong side of the bed this morning. I was so grumpy I kept thinking what I should do to cheer myself up. I couldn't skip school, I had to deliver a letter to someone at school, so I decided that instead I would go to school and get some good reading done which would make me feel pleased with myself. RIGHT!
It was snowing up on the mountain which made me not want to go to our lab in the middle of the forest, so I checked on a friend to see if I could stay in their lab. The sweet girl she is ... honestly I didn't get much reading done. You know, a long lunch break and then a coffee break and a tea break and the group accumulates ... I guess it wasn't my fault, they closed the school due to bad weather conditions and although I am a graduate student I still didn't feel I should be working ... long story short, we're going over to a friends place to celebrate International Woman's Day and watch Walk the Line ... not to mention the nice phone call I got the minute I arrived home ... I am as jolly as can be!

دفاع

منظورشون چیه من واقعا نمی فهمم!!!؟

rumor

Over the past month 4 of my friends deleted their Orkut accounts, I think gossip was a major factor in their decision. So let me add to that: someone told their boyfriend that someone else had hated their date with him. Although he has a girlfriend now, that Mr Boyfriend is mad. The only unknown here is who he is mad at! His girlfriend or the person who never became his girlfriend?!

... من و تو، بارون و درخت

من باهارم تو زمين
من زمینم تو درخت
من درختم تو باهار ــ
ناز انگشتای بارون تو باغم مي‌کنه
ميون جنگلا تاقم مي‌کنه.

تو بزرگی مثِ شب.
اگه مهتاب باشه يا نه
تو بزرگی مثِ شب.

خودِ مهتابی تو اصلاً، خودِ مهتابی تو.
تازه، وقتي بره مهتاب و
هنوز
شبِ تنها
بايد
راه دوری ‌رو بره تا دَم دروازه روز ــ
مثِ شب گود و بزرگی
مثِ شب.

تازه، روزم که بياد
تو تميزی
مثِ شبنم
مثِ صبح.

تو مثِ مخملِ ابری
مثِ بوی علفي
مثِ اون ململِ مه نازکي:
اون ململِ مه
که رو عطرِ علفا، مثل بلاتکليفی
هاج و واج مونده مردد
ميون موندن و رفتن
ميون مرگ و حيات.

مثِ برفايی تو.
تازه آبم که بشن برفا و عُريون بشه کوه
مثِ اون قله‌ مغرور بلندی
که به ابرایِ سياهی و به بادای بدی می‌خندی ...

[]

من باهارم تو زمين
من زمينم تو درخت
من درختم تو باهار،
ناز انگشتای بارون تو باغم می‌کنه
ميون جنگلا تاقم می‌کنه

احمد شاملو -

آرزو

یه آرزو کردم، از اون طرف بوم افتاد - مثل خیلی چیزای دیگه! کسی می دونه میشه به آرزو تبصره ای چیزی اضافه کرد؟

today

اشک

یاد اون آهنگ گوگوش افتادم:

اگر در چشم هم اشکی ببینیم توان رفتن از ما می گریزد

برو بگذار این دیوار کهنه به نام عشق ما در هم بریزد

regression

He fell for her too deep, too fast. He is so blindsided by his feelings that he can't even think clearly. She told him from the start that it wouldn't work out between them, but he didn't want to believe so. Not that I am saying he shouldn't have hoped for the situation to work itself out, but it didn't take long for her not to want to talk to him ... and not that she didn't try, it was just complicated ...

monetary

The Canadian dollar raised to its highest in 14 years. In hope to stabilize that, the target for the overnight rate was kept at 3.5% despite all the rumors about it going up on March 1st. With the prediction that the dollar is to rise in the next couple of months we might see a constant target for overnight rate for a while. Although it's good news for mortgages payers with the inflation rate prediction around 2.8% for the next while I am not quite sure how that is going to play out ... and what will that mean for people traveling back and forth between the US and Canada?

www

The coolest car ad ever and something on quite a different page! Warning: some viewers may find the contents of this page disturbing, viewer discretion is advised.

repeat

I won't do this again, I don't want to and nothing can force me to ...

transition

Take the last look, it's about to change ...

droplets

Spider web - no, not my photography!

evaluation

Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

perfect time

Imagine sitting in the car in pouring rain, the music turned up high and you're chewing on mocha chocolate ... I could sit there for ever ...

alert!

Is it true? Do I run in the opposite direction when things are going just right? Does it suffocate me or am I scared? This is bad! I mean if it's true then I need to do something about it ... but how do I really know?

کاریکاتور

genographic

This is so cool, I think every once in a while you need a cue like this so you remember how far we have come and how we have evolved into the civilization we are now ...

push!

I love it! I never seize to surprise myself ... I just get up one morning and decide to do something I had been thinking over and over about ... and by afternoon it's done, something I had thought about for so long ... what if I could do this everyday?! What would become of my life ...

celebrity

I jumped out of my chair with his scream, it was unusual even for my brother. He rushed into my room yelling I'm in the video! I'm in the clip! ... a while ago he went for an audition and was told that he might be in the video clip for Nickleback's new single Savin' me ... seems like he made it, and now he's our celebrity! I got a signature from him last night, you never know, a lot of people started off as extras!

forever and for always

In your heart, I can still hear
a beat for every time you kiss me
And when we're apart,
I know how much you miss me
I can feel your love for me in your heart

In your eyes, I can still see
the look of the one who really loves me
The one who wouldn't put anything
else in the world above me
(I can still see love for me) I can
still see love for me in your eyes

- Shania Twain

strings

You just have to be inside me to know how I feel about the guitar ...

هنوز

نه اینکه داشته باشم خیلی کار کنم یا یه همچین چیزی، نه. فقط نمی دونم چرا این قایق سواری پا نمی ده. خیلی هوس کرده بودم، نمی دونم چرا و حالا بدجوری رو دلم مونده

grace

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all I have ... I am happy and healthy and I live in a beautiful city with wonderful people ...

And if you're wondering, no, nothing new has happened and there is no news of any kind, it's just that ... looking at the life I have, I feel so blessed ...

nearly there

I am almost convinced that I should do this. The point being, I can't find a reason I should refrain. Well, supposing it might not go as planned is not a valid reason. And as long as I don't try I'll never know ... besides, I'm feeling a little less resistance in me, I'll take it as a good sign, maybe it is time ...

Tyra

As you may know the previous actress/model now has a TV talk show of her own, The Tyra Banks Show. It just happens that CTV puts the show on around the time that I feel like sitting in front of the TV and resting a little bit ...
I used to think of her as a typical model who got caught in the excitement of doing TV business like many others in her profession. I didn't even credit her enough to agree that she is the teenagers' Oprah. But that changed over time. Although I still wouldn't say I eagerly follow her shows or that I would take advice from her, it now seems to me that she understands people, or at least Americans, better than the average person ... she has insight into the problems and can find, well, at least short time solutions ...
One reason I started writing this post was that I am impressed by what she said on her show today. She was interviewing a group of prostitutes and the manager of the ranch as they called it - in Nevada prostitution is legal, and these people were trying to convince everyone to look at it as any other business! Ugh!!! She made it clear that she didn't agree it was so and said something along the lines of: I can understand why guys would go to a prostitute, although I don't agree with the reason and I don't like it, but what I don't understand is how you girls actually do this!
I really liked how she brought up this subject, introduced the business and although they were feeling good about themselves, made them look the idiots they were!

bold

We had a guest speaker today, a very busy meeting, a very interesting one ... but I help couldn't noticing that except for the 2 ladies and the 2 young men, all the professors were bald, that even includes the speaker who wasn't that old! Does this have to do with the school or the university? I'll have to check computing science to see if it has to do with the school and then I can look into the ECE department at UBC ...

P.S. thanks to Roozbeh for the correction!

smart!

So me and my brother were playing around with our cell phones. I was showing him how smart my phone is and I was saying that I keep all my contacts on the phone memory not on the SIM card. We decided to switch our SIM cards to check something and guess what I did?! Without coping the contacts to the SIM card I took out the battery! And now smart me is left with a cell phone and no contact information on it!! Oh dear, I am sure there are some phone numbers I don't have anywhere else ... I might have to send out an email and ask everyone for their number, not such a smart idea though is it?!

P.S. the above was a rather immature post, especially considering that I claim to know something about these devices - again emphasizing the not so smart decisions I make! Having decided the worst thing taking out the battery would do was to lock the memory, not delete it, I was left to figure what had happened. After fiddling with the phone for a while I realized I needed a security code which I later discovered I could look up on the web ... aside for being an unhappy me for a few hours, everything is fine now! Hurray!

unraveled

It's a classic, I know. Am I too unwilling to try or should I really trust my gut feeling? Or maybe there is nothing to think about so much!

farewell

He was in the military and it was illegal for him to leave the country. His parents didn't know he was leaving, they found out when he and his family were safely in Canada. After years his mother was going to visit him, she died on that day ... they never had a chance to say goodbye, neither when he left nor when she did ...

Oscar Wilde

"Ambition is the last refuge of failure"

دلدار

گر گناهست به دلدار سپردن دل

شاد از آنیم که فرخنده گناهی کردیم

-نیما جهان بین

long time due

Since I came to SFU I had always wanted to go into the cleanroom. All the other labs and equipments you can just walk in and examine yourself, but with the cleanroom, at least I preferred to go in with someone else.
Finally today I spent about 2 hours in there with a friend. I was shown all the equipment and we actually sat there as they deposited material onto her wafer ... it was fun ... and now I have seen everything in all the engineering labs at school ... it has to count for something, right?!

emerging technologies

Is this cool or what!

shuffle

What if I am uncomfortable doing something? What if I feel scared? Is it that hard to understand?

royal

I had never seen a sky so blue in my life until I saw the sky here, I wish you could all see this beauty ...

ads

You make your way through life, deciding who you are, how you feel, and what you believe in. Sure, it's hard, but you do what you think is right ... and then it goes on: if you are facing the pressure of an unwanted pregnancy ... it's a crisis line ad.

The other one I like is for a brand of energy bars, I like the part where it says ... because when you make healthy choices, others follow ... it's true, others do follow ...

hehe!

Every once in while that your life seems all in order and things all in place, you get that tickle inside you. The tickle that says do something wild, well, as wild as it can get for you. Considering me, the typical normal life I lead, wild isn't to far of a stretch ...
I have always thought I have a rather clear idea of the things I want in life. Whenever the tickle comes along, I think that may be I should give myself more wiggle room. Usually that is followed by a few days of unprecedented activity and then, and then something comes up and reassures me I still want what I thought I did and life goes back to normal ...
The happy feeling inside me, even when it comes from a failure in what I tried as a digression of normal life, makes me strong, makes me know me better and makes me want to shout how lucky I feel ...

hearts

Happy Valentine's

expectations

I had prepared myself to hear my supervisor say .. and is that all you've done in the past month? He's been away for a month and trust me I've been going round in circles.

I went into his office with a big smile painted on my face since the weather was beautiful and I had had a good time in the lab all day. What a pleasant surprise, I was just finishing an email to you!

He talked about his trip for a while and then said Ok, let's talk about you. You are looking very nice, your hair and everything ... Nice comments aren't unusual from him, but this was a little stronger and non-academic. A comment of course I enjoyed since it was coming from him, the beautiful person he is.

After my looks the next topic was my trip to Vegas, which of course he arranged a travel advance check for any amount I wanted. Ok, I said to myself, we are getting to the terrible part now.

I started talking about what I had done while he was away which I could have summarized in nothing but then it wouldn't look good! I just gave him a few ideas which had crashed and ... guess what he said?! You are brilliant, you are really good at absorbing ideas and coming up with new ones. I knew you were going to be wonderful!

I came out of his office with an even bigger smile, now I had the rest of the day to rest since I had worked so hard while he was away ... who knew the 13th would be such a good day ...

خواب

دیشب خواب یه آب خیلی روشن دیدم، خیلی صاف بود. الان هم یادمه چقدر لذت بردم از نگاه کردن بهش. یه نفر اومد دوتا مار از آب گرفت و نشونم داد. اصلا نمی ترسیدم حتی وقتی ماره خودش رو خم و راست می کرد - که البته در زندگی واقعی خیلی بعیده! خلاصه مارها رو نشون من داد و تایید گرفت واسه یه چیزی که اصلا یادم نیست چی بود.
تعبیر: آب که تعبیرش روشنی است مار هم که تعبیرش آبادی و پول است! خوشمان آمد، می گم بیشتر بخوابم ... البته نکته دیگری هست می گن خواب رو نباید تعریف کرد که تعبیر بشه. خلاصه اگه خواب من هم تعبیر نشد تقصیر شما

greif

He thinks he is ok, he thinks he is strong enough to get through. I can see it in his words that he is grieving, in a special way of his he is grieving. He lost someone he really looked up to, someone he thought of as a role model ... no matter how many times he says over and over that he will be in heaven waiting for me and I will join him one day, the pain and sorrow fills his warm heart day and night ... I wish I could help him grieve, I wish I could help him pull through ...

motivation

You have to feel very strongly about something to stay up all night for it, so why can't I respect his draw? Every time I feel like saying Don't you have anything better or more important to do? What stops me is that I don't want him to feel I am not so fond of it, and truly, it is none of my business ... or may be I don't know him well enough, people usually have reasons for what they care about ...

Torino 2006

Today was the opening of the Turin winter Olympic games. Beautiful, just beautiful. They carried the flag, step by step, hand to hand, among the colors and the music, in love and peace. I wish we could always be so united ...

You may say I'm a dreamer
but I'm not the only one
I hope someday you will join us
and the world will be one

- John Lennon


The next winter games will be here, although I wasn't a supporter, now that it's happening I might as well enjoy!

professional

I now understand very well the reason you are not supposed to have intimate relationships with your doctor, your boss and the like. It's uncomfortable. I had never thought of it until today. Otherwise put, it had never come up until today.
In these cases, there is a certain safety and trust you need to feel. It has to be away from your emotional ties. Having an intimate relation with the person who somehow has a responsibility towards you can affect the level of protection you need from these people, since both ends tend to confuse emotions with the nature of the intended relationship ... good thing the people before us had thought of that, or may be they learnt the hard way ...

mutual

I talked to her, she thought the relationship was just a rebound, nothing major, and she kind of regretted getting into it in the first place. However, she justified it by saying she had gone through a messy break up and so she needed someone ...
I talked to him, he thought they were very serious. He was thinking of proposing to her and he had dreamt about the house they were going to buy and how happy they were going to be with their kids and all ...

I talked to him, he wasn't over it yet, he thought they were a good match. What's more, he was now too afraid to be with anyone like her. He's miserable ...
I talked to her, she thought they were so wrong together. She respected him a lot, but she couldn't think of anything to hold them together ...

I talked to her, she thought they were doing fine, she never saw this coming ...
I talked to him, he had all the nice things in the world to say about her but he thought he didn't want to try, he didn't want to risk going through all the pain ...

I know all these people, and if it were before I would say they probably knew very well what they were doing. Talking to them made me realize how distant we are even when we look as if we are close ... I wonder if the opposite is true?

happy mistake

The graduate secretary's email is ensc-grad and the graduate students' mailing list is enscgrad. It happens rather frequently that people send an email to the wrong email address. Every once in a while I reply to one of these emails explaining the difference. In order to prevent the mistake myself, I always use the graduate secretary's name to find the email address.
But as we all know, what goes around comes around. So today I sent an email to the graduate students - who are by the way rather used to getting emails from me - in stead of the secretary. You won't believe the pile of hilarious emails I got back. It's fun to make a mistake like this every once in a while. Good thing it wasn't anything controversial or personal!

hello people!

After recent developments in the 3rd generation of wireless, more and more wireless companies are offering international roaming. Whether it's in the form of permanent, rental, cell phone, blackberry or any other shape or size is the customer's choice.
I am considering a trip back home sometime in the summer, so I thought to check out the deals I can get here. Knowing that it might not be a great idea I started browsing the web ... although the website spelled communicated wrong, it had rentals for Iran at US$1.6/minute ... not bad, at least it's possible!

dance me

The guy who wrote Dance Me to the End of Love, Leonard Cohen, was inducted into the hall of fame on the weekend ... what a memory, what a man, what a love ...

pleased

I like to write down this happy moment in life, I feel satisfied and tall. I was a little worried, but it's all resolved now and I feel peace inside me, just pure joy ... what have I done to deserve all this?

traffic sign

Where else in the world would you see a sign on city streets that says:

Tree
Work
Ahead

پس از تو

امروز صبح این ایمیل رو گرفتم، یه چیزاییش جالبه. می گه بعد از مردن تو:
آنجه اهمیت خواهد داشت چیزی نیست که آن را خریداری می کنی بلکه آنچیزی است که خودت بنیان می نهی، چیزی نیست که به دست می آوری بلکه چیزی است که به دیگران می بخشی
آنچه اهمیت خواهد داشت موفقیت تو نیست بلکه اهمیت و معنای وجودی توست
آنچه اهمیت خواهد داشت چیزی نیست که آموخته ای بلکه آن چیزی است که آموزش داده ای
آنچه اهمیت خواهد داشت لیاقت و توانایی ظاهری تو نیست بلکه شخصیت و ماهیت درونی توست
آنچه اهمیت خواهد داشت تعداد افرادی نیست که تو می شناسی بلکه تعداد افرادی است که وقتی از میان آنها رفته ای کمبود تو را حس خواهند کرد
آنچه اهمیت خواهد داشت خاطرات تو نیست بلکه خاطرات آنانی است که به وجودت عشق می ورزیدند
آنچه اهمیت خواهد داشت این است که در چه مدتی توسط چه کسی و برای چه چیزی در یاد و خاطره ها زنده خواهی شد
زندگی ای که دارای اهمیت باشد به صورت تصادفی اتفاق نمی افتد این یک موضوع اتفاقی نیست بلکه نتیجه یک انتخاب است

count

Did you realize what just happened?! With David Emerson walking to the Conservative side, the Tories and the NDP just need to convince the single independent MP to have half the votes in the house of parliament. This guy Harper scares me!

دانمارکی

قرار است از امروز به بعد به شیرینی دانمارکی بگیم شیرینی گل محمدی! از خودم نگفتم به خدا

council

Right now I can't figure if I am confused or some things have changed about the way I think. I have to sort most of it out by tomorrow, I should know what I am going to talk about, or should I?

image

I don't even want to be perfect, I don't even believe that it exists. I really just want to be normal, just a human being with all the imperfections, mistakes, wrongs and faults. That's what I like about life, being imperfect is ok.
Why do I keep getting this from everyone? This expectation, this perception, that I have it all and that I should have it all, I DON'T and I WON'T! Give me a minute and I'll write you a list with a hundred and one of my flaws on it, is it that hard to see?
God! what am I to do?! It used to be cute, it used to be that everyone would praise what I do and I would get to be the angel. They still praise what I do, but it's not cute any more. It deprives me of real life, things I want to do, mistakes I want to make ... I'll have to find a way to get past it ...


I'm only human
Of flesh and blood I'm made
I'm only human what am I suppose to do
Born to make mistakes (tell me whatcha gonna do?)

- Human, Craig David

transparent

People express themselves differently, very differently. When you interact with someone what you should really be hearing is the underlying statements. It's not rocket science, really, it's easy. And no matter how hard they try to disguise it, you can see right through ...

too strong

Can you be too strong? Too strong for others to take? Too strong to be attainable?!
I should kick and scream right now, I don't know why I am acting so grown up! Why am I being so understanding? What is this? Truth be told, I don't want to be a grown up, I want to cry right now. So where are my tears? Have I accepted some things in life? Am I used to living? Or maybe it'll break out in a while, I'll have to wait and see ...

قایق

دلم قایق سواری می خواد، یه جا که ته آبش رو نبینم. می دونم فصلش نیست، ولی الان دلم قایق سواری می خواد. باید یه کاریش بکنم، اگه نه عقده ای می شم تا تابستون

پرونده اتمی

آقای رفسنجانی: "وارد کردن شورای امنیت به پرونده ایران اشتباه بزرگی است"
خبرها ببینید به کجا رسیده

ذوق

زنگ زدم بهشون که بریم بیرون. با یه شوق خاصی گفت: باید با خانم صحبت کنم. فقط خدا می دونه من چقدر خوشحالم واسشون

without sunshine

Apparently this guy thinks the day is incomplete without sunshine, I bet we're all staying young, as long as everyone agrees not to count the incomplete days!

How do I begin to stop loving you?
How do I go on by letting go?
How do I pretend I know what to do?
And deep inside I know that I don't.

My heart is weak
Too tired to sleep
I'm incomplete
Like a day without sunshine
God only knows
This faded soul will stand alone
Waiting on sunshine.

How do I forget to remember you?
To tell me how to mend a broken heart
How can I explain what I'm going through?
It's like trying to find a shadow in the dark.

- Sunshine by Hipjoint

record

There is a new Rubik's cube record! 11.13 seconds! It takes me ... well let's not talk about it ...

instructions!

The letter said you can't take bags in, and the guard reminded that to everyone several times. Yet, I took in a big red bag, not a purse, a bag!

the dog

Poor thing, it was looking for home. It jogged along with me for a while after I patted it, but yet he was sure he wanted to go home. He kept smelling the greens and trying to remember what the way home smelled like. I tried my best to help him, I hope he's home by now ...

سلطان قلبها

يه دل مي گه برم ، برم
يه دلم مي گه نرم، نرم
طاقت نداره دلم، دلم
بي تو چه كنم ؟

پيش عشق اي زيبا، زيبا
خيلي كوچيكه دنيا، دنيا
با ياد توام هر جا، هر جا
تركت نكنم

سلطان قلبم تو هستي، تو هستي
دروازه هاي دلم را شكستي
پيمان ياري به قلبم تو بستي
با من پيوستي

اكنون اگر از تو دورم به هر جا
بر يار ديگر نبندم دلم را
سرشارم از آرزو و تمنا
اي يار زيبا

ترانه : محمد علي شيرازي
آهنگ : انوشيروان روحاني

hunger

I was sitting at my desk thinking that I am hungry because I haven't had a proper breakfast. As I was lingering on what I want, the phone rang. The lady was asking for money to feed school kids. She said: "Our mission is to make sure no kid goes to school or to bed hungry. A dollar a day will feed a child".
I tried to convince myself to say no, but there was no way that I could let myself get away. Less than the price of a coffee for a kid who had no choice in being born into a poor family, that is of course even if they do have a family. And it was a non-profit organization anyway, so ...

Challenger

Can you believe it's been 20 years?!

Dick Scobee, Commander
Mike Smith, Pilot
Ron McNair, Payload Commander
Judith Resnik, Mission Specialist
Gregory Jarvis, Mission Specialist
Ellison Onizuka, Mission Specialist
Christa McAuliffe, Payload Specialist

delayed

It wasn't quite what I'd hoped for, but it's ok. I'll just have to be more patient about it. It'll be a delayed gratification - I learned this week that this is a psychological term, basically just telling you you should wait ... good thing I watch TV ...

tiny

Last week we were obsessed with small. The smallest planet yet, the smallest fish yet!

rise and shine

Back home it use to be that you got up at around sunrise (about 6:00am) and started your day. Banks and offices and schools opened 7:30am so if you needed to go somewhere and do something 6:00am worked fine.
But then I moved me to Canada, where banks and schools open at 9:00am if not later. So me would want to get up 7:30am-ish. And then it started to slip. The Sun comes out 8:00am so what the hell am I doing getting up before sunrise?! and it is cloudy anyway, so why bother?! It's not like there is real daylight!
I am still a little confused, I hate sleeping late and on the other hand I hate getting up when there is no Sun in the sky. Maybe I should get one of those lights that simulate daylight and it will make my body feel like day time ...

call me!

People, it's happening! It's happening! Well, at least I made the phone call, I've taken the first few steps. I have to see how it goes, but at least I am not the only person in the world who knows about it or better put, some people who should know, know about it now. And tomorrow morning I am going to get a call with more information! Can't wait! Can't wait!

لیموزین هامر

ثریا می گه: لیموزین هامر مال آدمهایی است که دو جور عقده دارند، عقده لیموزین، عقده هامر

شانسی

دیروز چه روز سختی بود! شاید یه ربطی به اون کلاغه داشت که صبح دیدم، خیلی بدجنس بود، از نگاهش فهمیدم

canadian elections

Jon Stuart had this to say about the election results in Canada: "But the real question on everybody's mind is can we still stitch their flags to our backpacks to get through Europe and I think, I think, the answer is this, you can but, eh, the flag should be smaller than it was ..."

spellbound

Why again am I jumping up and down in the house? Oh, ok, I have finally made a decision. Same way as I always do; I called Elham and we talked on the phone for hours and I made a decision! One really interesting thing about our conversations is that she reminds me of the things I once said to her, you can't do better than your own advice ... so it kind of works for me ...

me & politics!

I think that from now on I should not support anyone in the elections or maybe I should support a party I hope will loose. Honestly, I supported Dr. Moeen and then Hashemirafsanjani, you know how that turned out. And then I supported the Liberals in Canada, they toppled to a minority government last election. An early election was called, and the Conservatives are now defeating them ... sorry Paul!

P.S. at least I am living in the right part of the country. Canada, and specifically Quebec, voted for more Conservative MPs; British Columbia voted for fewer! They lost 5 seats - down to 17 from 22. The seats went to the NDP - which is celebrating big time tonight with a total of 29 seats in the house of parliaments. Liberals - taking one seat from an independent runner - ended up with one more seat than last time. It is an interesting point to me that all the metropolitans voted Liberal and the Conservatives got their support from smaller communities ....

want nobody

Farshid left a comment on the post joyride: " ... i wish it was this easy to say it, i wish you wouldnt have to consider 10 thousand things before saying it!!! ..." I thought to leave him a response of some sort, but then, this wasn't only his feeling and I am not going to make this post a personal reply to him ...

I agree that there are a few things at stake when you're moving your relationship to a more intimate stage, but come on people, what is this? Isn't it that love is the most precious gift we can offer? Isn't it that we live our lives dreaming over and over of that perfect feeling, that bond?

Some people wait a lifetime,
For a moment like this
Some people search forever,
For that one special kiss
Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me
Some people wait a lifetime,
For a moment like this

- Kelly Clarkson

We are all people, we understand one another. We know we all have emotions. So what are we running from? Who are we lying to? Are we going to pretend we don't feel anything for anyone? Are we going to miss out just because we might get hurt? It doesn't make sense to me. I'd rather take my chances than go through the pain of never knowing if it was meant to be ...

You're not supposed to want nobody
Not supposed to need nobody
(Nobody... Nobody cares)
You're not supposed to touch nobody
(Nobody cares)
Don't you dare go love nobody

- Burton Cummings

If you ask me, I say, each person has enough judgment to know when they should step forward, just push the fear, the what if, aside and let your mind and heart guide you. As a girl I have always appreciated a guy having the guts to express his feelings. And believe me, if you respect the other person they will respect you and you can work it out either way. Don't make it too complicated, it's not! Just be yourself and let it flow. Be grown ups about it ...

Conservative

Last week I was starting to convince myself that may be a Conservative minority government is not that bad. With the NDP looking over their shoulder, it might just be that ... honestly, it might just be that nothing will get done!
The thought seemed less and less attractive as I heard Harper sneak his way out of answering to whether he supports abortion. It's ok not to support it - it's at least an expressed opinion - but to avoid it by saying that my views are too complicated! I hate dishonesty and that is all he reminds me of.
To my horror, today, I learnt that the NDP was running anti-Liberal ads. Ads with people saying why they are changing their vote from Liberal to NDP. Layton has laid out the terms on which he'll support a minority Conservative government and, well, nothing that thrilling. It'll leave Harper the tools he needs for the American-style Canada he is dreaming of. Oh, and by the way, the photo above comes from his own party's website. What a smile, I wonder what he is grinning at?! The tampered painting I found here.

تب خال

من هر وقت یه دفعه نگران بشم لبم تب خال می زنه. مدت خیلی زیادی بود که این رو یادم رفته بود، لابد اینقدر که اینجا چیزی نیست که اون جوری نگرانم کنه. هفته پیش کارم به کار کنسولگری ایران افتاد، حالا لبم یه تب خال داره ... عجب! این هم یه جور زنده کردن خاطراته

joyride

She says:
Hello, you fool, I love you,
C'’mon join the joyride,
Join the joyride.

She'’s a flower, I can paint her,
She'’s a child of the sun,
....
She says:
Hello, you fool, I love you,
C'mon join the joyride,
Be a joyrider.

I take you on a skyride,
A felling like you'’re spellbound.
The sunshine is a lady
Who rocks you like a baby ...

- Joyride (Roxette)

viewpoint

Nice article! I remember a friend always called me an ally of the British, well, I sure like the work they do - not to be mistaken that I would ever support what they do!

نقطه

می خوام به اون نقطه دور فکر کنم،
اون نقطه که هنوز خیلی راه بهش مونده،
کاش همیشه اون نقطه تو ذهنم بود،
خیلی چیزا فرق می کرد احتمالا

سوسک خوش سلیقه

خواهرم می خواست بدومه اینجا شنبلیله و تلخون و گل پونه و نعناع تازه از کجا می تونه بخره. فکر کردم تصمیم گرفته کدبانو بشه، نگو تحقیقات گروههای دیگه نشون داده سوسکهایی که روشون کار می کنه احتمالا از این سبزیها خوششون می آد!؟

Chile

I've been thinking about this for the past two days ... it is a great step isn't it? Where are we?

live, love, sing, dance

The other side says, Sing like no one is listening ...

chance of showers

Guess what?! The rain stopped just short of making the record for the highest number of consecutive days ...

P.S. so we were told if it rains today we will tie the record, you know what?! It rained everywhere except YVR (Vancouver International airport) where they were recording to compare to 1953!! People, this is not fair. We went through 27 days of rain, just to miss the 28th one! You know how many running days I lost because of it. It rained 14 out of 15 days in January. Compare that to 5 last year. Ok, we'll start over from tomorrow only if it promises us those beautiful sunny spots and the gorgeous rainbows.

enviromental friendly me

I had decided that it was inappropriate for each person to sit in a car by themselves and drive through the city. That meant that I can't drive to UBC for my course either. Alternative: take public transportation.
I left my car at a transfer loop and decided to take the bus from there on. I was hating the environment as I got to UBC. Feeling sick and dizzy, I starting thinking that maybe I love me more and maybe I don't care that much in what conditions I hand the globe over to the next generation!
After class I realized I didn't have the option of driving back, so public transportation it was again ... I took a different route this time. It wasn't that bad and a friend was with me on the bus ... I guess can convince myself to take this much hardship for the sake of the place I live in ... well we'll see about that next week!

late night ...

There's this light feeling in you after you've had a good time among people who understand you. Among those who you don't have to make an effort to talk to, and those who like you just the way you are. The people with whom you share a mutual bond ...

But aside from that, there was this bitter feeling in me all day. I can't really come up with the reason, think, think ...
Well, I can come up with a few excuses. Whenever I start thinking that I'll be 30 in a few years it hurts a little. Of course I am not the only one, there are so many of my friends who will turn 30 the same year. And what's the big deal anyway? I have many friends who are already 30 and there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. Nothing except that I can feel they don't have that youth glow although they try. But that's part of the package, I can't be upset ... maybe it's because everyone talks about it ...
The second thing is that I realized I still have a little bit of that struggle in me. Some things that I had thought I had resolved are still dangling ... but then again, what can you do? I am sure everyone has one or two things they have to re-resolve now and then .... better go to bed ...

love

They met when they were teenagers. He found her after 60 years and they got married when they were 79. They are so cute together. See now, that is what I'm talking about!

شمع جمع

گفت که تو شمع شدی قبله این جمع شدی

شمع نیم، جمع نیم، دود پراکنده شدم

مولانا

perplex

They tell me it's not my problem. They tell me I shouldn't care. They tell me I have already gone too far and it can't be helped anyway. God, I hope they're right ...

some days

You know how some days you feel taller! Well, my body is screaming out for my attention and ok I'll get to that, but this being tall is different, I'm sure you know what I mean ...

Library Tower, Los Angeles

!آخی

برادر خاتمی شاید در دوره ریاست جمهوریش بعضی کارها رو نکرد. ولی اینکه این دوتا دوست عزیز من رو عقد کرد و خیال ما رو از هر جهت راحت، دستش درد نکنه

مبارک باد

minority

Do you really think there will be a minority Conservative government? Haven't people heard Harper talk? Would they actually vote for him in spite that? It might be that they just want something else, but you don't shoot yourself in the arm just because you want a change!
I might as well start packing my bags. I mean, what's the point? Another Bush-like government. On the other hand, maybe them being a minority won't be as bad. And do you think it'll stand? Or will it tumble like the Liberals? Isn't it time someone started doing something instead of wasting time and money on winning over minority governments and having winter elections?
Interesting reviews about today's debate too. It didn't change anyone's opinion, people saw what they were looking for. Except Gilles Duceppe I guess, who made a fool out of himself! Ah! Well, our fellow Frenchmen ... and it seems the Conservatives are taking their place. So much for the Liberal campaign!

capitol punishment

I am truly against it. No matter how many reasons I hear people bringing that it should exist and that it makes the legal system strong I can't convince myself. I can think of two groups of reasons why I am against it:

• Faultiness of the decision due to human errors
• General critique

Faultiness of the system:

• The system is unfair, who gets to make such a decision? In other words, who gets to be God?
• It can never be determined whether it was a true crime or not - even in spite of a guilty plea.
• It can never be determined how much of the fault the person was actually responsible for and how much of what lead to the crime is the person to be punished for.

I don't mean to question the penal system, I just think taking a person's life is not an option, it's just too much to decide for.
General critique:

• Can't take what you didn't give.
• It's punishment with what you are punishing for - same, same.
• Uncivilized and barbaric.
• Not really getting back at the person for what they did - someone who killed 300 people will be punished the same as someone who killed one.
• What's wrong with life imprisonment? What good does it do to kill another person? I can't accept the debt on tax payers money argument on this. Worst case, we can think of them as a portion of the community who require special treatment. They deserve a share of society.

For crimes that are reversible to some extent, such as robbery, the punishment is straight forward. But in hate crimes, mental and physical abuses, or murders, we are dealing with a much more complicated situation. Assuming we can even determine to what extent the accused should be charged, we still have to develop a more flexible prosecution system ...

focus

Burnaby, BC, Canada, December 2005

me

Among the few things I have learnt about myself, and am constantly reminded of, is that I can't lie! I am just so bad at it that I can't even give it a try. What causes trouble is that I can't believe others might lie and I can't accept people's mistrust. I understand logically that someone may mislead you, but to actually think that someone might lie, it just doesn't come. See now, that is a problem!

slow groove

You know, some things are just worth the wait ...

ساربان

ای ساربان آهسته ران کارام جانم می رود

وان دل که با خود داشتم با دلستانم می رود

school-day

Yesterday was the first school day in the new year. I received an unexpected check - which of course is always a delight - and an unexpected present - which goes much further than money with me. We're going out tonight with a few old classmates I never thought I'd see again and tomorrow, well all I can say is that it's going to be good ... I can look forward to all school days this year if it's going to be like this!

strength

I just need to keep my head up and my mind focused. I can pull through, it's nothing I haven't conquered before; just a little more complicated ... I'll be fine, I'm sure ...

Los Angeles Public library

... and in case you can't read what it says above the tiny waterfall: Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did. It never will.

unfinished

As an elementary school student I took the entrance exam for the National Organization for Exceptional Talents (NODET) - fancy name, may be a little too fancy. At that time to me it was a chance to be among the best. It took a few years for me to develop the thought that it was too soon to classify students based on their talents - even assuming the system was one hundred percent accurate in selection. Aside from what I would call the cultural sensitivity to ranking which I assume is at its highest among us Iranians, children of that age have usually not developed the understanding to cope with being exempted. Neither have their peers which are schooling in the public schooling system. Underdeveloped understanding and the inability to couch that even in the best case some may be more talented than others, creates an undesired constant clash.
Not in such an extreme, but following the ever present sensitivity to ranking, as I entered Sharif University the problems continued. Again from both sides. And the same reasons. I can understand my own stronger desire for education, even compared to my colleagues. But what still has me on my thinking bench is why this is such a sensitive issue.
Most of what is seen in such cases is a action-reaction system which resonates much further than first predicted. Each group blaming the other. Some approach it with the thought that those who study at NODET or Sharif or whatever organization you think of, are all, or in the more moderate case are within a certain category with identifiable behavior and deeds. It is to some extent acceptable that a group will develop similar behaviours, but how much can that be? I still think this is more influenced by our expectations than our observation. And what's more I thought it would end at least when I left Iran, but we don't forget do we? People change attitude the instant they hear where you've studied and ... for one thing, it's not fair!

alive

i wanna run with the reckless emotion
find out if love is the size of an ocean
even if i crash down and burn out at least i'm gonna know
what its like to feel alive

- Melissa O'neil

!با فرهنگ

از همه فعالیتهای خیلی فرهنگی که در مدت تعطیلات انجام دادم که بگذریم، دیروز دیگه آخرش بود. من کلا هیچ هنر خاصی ندارم و چیز زیادی از هنر سرم نمی شه. باله، رقص، موسیقی کلاسیک و مدرن ، نقاشی، خطاطی و خلاصه همه و همه رو اگر حس خوبی بهم بدن دوست دارم.
در نقاشی سبکهای کلاسیک تر رو ترجیح می دم و بطور خاص درباره پیکاسو همیشه فکر می کردم آخه، کوبیسم چیه! خوب مثل بچه خوب درست نقاشی کن! با این همه تخصص و درکی که از نقاشی مدرن داشتم، دیروز رفتم نمایشگاه نقاشیهاش رو دیدم. مهمترین چیزی که یاد گرفتم این بود که پیکاسو در 14 سالگی نقاشی کلاسیک رو به خوبی بلد بوده. خوب می شه حدس زد که در مابقی عمر طولانیش حوصله اش سر رفته و چیزهای تازه رو امتحان کرده.
بعد از 5 ساعت توی نمایشگاه نظرم درباره خیلی جنبه های نقاشی عوض شد. البته هنوز هم نقاشی کلاسیک رو به مدرن ترجیح می دم ... من از نقاشی این خانمها خوشم آمد. بعدا فهمیدم این نقاشی رو به اسم نقاشی مرگ نقاشی کلاسیک می شناسن. ظاهرا این نقاشی دیگه خنجر آخر رو زده. اگه خوب دقت کنید می بینید که تاثیر فرهنگهای زیادی در این نقاشی دیده می شه.


نقاشی دیگری که دوست داشتم مربوط به دوره پریشانی زندگی پیکاسو بوده، دوره ای که رنگ آبی زیادی در نقاشیهاش هست. این نقاشی به اسم زندگی تصویری از دوست پیکاسو رو داره که در سنین جوانی در یک جریان عشقی خودکشی می کنه . این مساله نقاشیهای پیکاسو رو در این دوره تحت تاثیر قرار می ده!


خوب بسه دیگه من برم دیر می شه

سال نو مبارک

Casanova

Give me a man who is man enough to give himself just to the woman who deserves him.

- Francesca

righful

I am writing this here for a dear friend and for who ever else feels they need to hear it. Honey, you can never do anything wrong in love if you are true to yourself.

countdown

Two days to go! Wow, it'll be 2006, so what happened to 2005? And what about ...? This is fast, too fast if I may say ... thank God for these milestones that remind you of your life passing by. At least you're alert for a while ...

I ordered another 300 photos for print, with the ones from last month that's over 700! Do I really have so much to remember? So many memories? So many people? Of course I only printed some of the photos and we only sometimes take photos and ... you get the idea!

lives of the saints

"Don't be afraid curses can not follow us across the ocean."

- Cristina Innocente

sunshine

In spite of all the rain, rain, rain forecast, we had a wonderful spring evening today. I went out on the trail again ... still not back on my summer peak - I guess I must have gained weight - but I did quite well and my body feels happy ...

سینما

یکی بود یکی نبود. یه من بود که سینما نمی رفت، یه من بود که اصلا سینما دوست نداشت.
یکی هست یکی نیست. یه من هست که سینما می ره، یه من هست که سینما دوست داره. حالا نه مثل بعضیها که همه چیز و همه جور فیلمی رو می بینن ولی خوب ... مثل خیلی چیزای دیگه این عادتم هم عوض شده

the truth

"Here's what I think, here's what I know, at the end of the day, the truth Toby, the truth, is all we have."

- Cane

the third man

She walked through the leaves and past him. She didn't look, didn't even turn her head, didn't even blink ...

complicated

So complicated, I'm so frustrated.
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay.
Should I say it.
Should I tell you how I feel.
Oh, I want you to know.
But then again I don't, It's so complicated.

- Dawn Johnson Carolyn

congestion

I picked up a friend from the store around noon and decided to do my share of boxing day shopping afterwards. From my experience I didn't expect anything amazing, so I decided to walk around, browse at a few stores I like and enjoy watching people as they shop.
For one thing I should say the rumor that there was gold to be dug had some people in a panic. From the lady that couldn't be seen behind the clothes she wanted to try on and the people who waited hours to get into a store, to those who just ran through the mall from shop to shop, there was a sense of thirst. Every once in a while you could find someone who had lost patience, and there were many who wanted to walk right through you as if you were a ghost.
I only shopped at one store and as I waited in line I came to notice the little boy with blue eyes staring at me. He was a few months old. I smiled at him and started talking ... much better response than any of the other people in the store I should say. I tilted my head to one side and he did so too. We soon learnt how to play that game together. It was a lot of fun and it kept me occupied ...
Overall I spent about 2 hours at the mall and I did get quite a bargain on the clothes I bought. Yet, the best part was the beautiful rainbow I saw driving back home ...

destiny

The doctors told him he had 27 years to live, he died at 25 in a car crash ...

احمدی نژاد

در ايامی که کشور مصر تحت تسلط انگلستان بود يک تاجر انگليسی هر ماه کالای خود را بار شتر می کرد و از حاشيه رود نيل می گذشت و خودش رو به قاهره می رسوند. در قاهره کالاهايش را که اکثرا اسباب بازی و گوشواره و دستبند و گردن بند های بدلی بودند می فروخت. با پول آنها اشيای تاريخی و زير خاکی های مصر را که بسيار ارزش داشت می خريد و در انگلستان به بهای بسيار گزافی می فروخت.
روزی که مطابق هميشه در حال طی مسير بود متوجه شد که ساربان مصری عصبانی است و با صدای بلند سخنانی به زبان می آورد.
از مترجم پرسيد: ساربان چه می گويد؟ مترجم از پاسخ دادن طفره رفت!
تاجر دوباره اصرار کرد و مترجم به ناچار گفت: صاحب ساربان به شما دشنام می دهد!
مترجم انتظار داشت که تاجر عصبانی شود و ساربان را تنبيه نمايد. اما در چهره تاجر تغييری ايجاد نشد!
دوباره تاجر پرسيد: چه دشنامی می دهد؟
دشنامهای بد. او به شما دشنامهای بسيار زشتی می دهد و می گويد به کشور ما آمده ايد تا ما را غارت کنيد! باز هم تاجر عکس العملی نشان نداد!
دوباره تاجر پرسيد: آيا اين دشنامها مانع رسيدن ما به قاهره می شود يا نه؟
مترجم گفت نه صاحب! او فقط دشنام می دهد و کار ديگری انجام نمی دهد. می خواهيد به او بگويم ساکت شود؟
تاجر گفت: نه بگذار دشنام بدهد و با دشنام سبک بشود! فقط يادت باشد اين بار که به مصر آمدم همين ساربان را استخدام کنی، او خطرناک نيست

twelve days

Although a religious holiday, we tag along for the joy of Christmas. One of the popular things in this season is carolling and one of the best known Christmas carols is the twelve days of Christmas, it comes to:

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve drummers drumming,
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!

It might be interesting for you to know the religious symbolism of The Twelve Days of Christmas are:

1. True Love refers to God
2. Two Turtle Doves refers to the Old and New Testaments
3. Three French Hens refers to Faith, Hope and Charity, the Theological Virtues
4. Four Calling Birds refers to the Four Gospels and/or the Four Evangelists
5. Five Golden Rings refers to the first Five Books of the Old Testament, the "Pentateuch", which gives the history of man's fall from grace.
6. Six Geese A-laying refers to the six days of creation
7. Seven Swans A-swimming refers to the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, the seven sacraments
8. Eight Maids A-milking refers to the eight beatitudes
9. Nine Ladies Dancing refers to the nine Fruits of the Holy Spirit
10. Ten Lords A-leaping refers to the ten commandments
11. Eleven Pipers Piping refers to the eleven faithful apostles
12. Twelve Drummers Drumming refers to the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostle's Creed

HaPpY Christmas!

خبر خبر

پرزیدنت خاتمی قراره وبلاگ بنویسه، این دیگه خیلی خبره

!اینهم خواجه حافظ

دیشب از حافظ پرسیدم: امسال برای من چطور خواهد بود؟ گفت:

من ترک عشق و شاهد و ساغر نمی کنم

صد بار توبه کردم و دیگر نمی کنم

باغ بهشت و سایه طوبی و قصر حور

با خاک کوی دوست برابر نمی کنم

هرگز نمی شود ز سر خود خبر مرا

تا در میان میکده سر بر نمی کنم

شیخم بطیره گفت برو ترک عشق کنم

محتاج جنگ نیست برادر نمی کنم

ناصح بطنز گفت حرامست می مخور

گفتم بچشم و گوش بهر خر نمی کنم

این تقویَم تمام که با شاهدان شهر

ناز و کرشمه در سر منبر نمی کنم

حافظ جناب پیر مغان جای دولتست

من ترک خاکبوسی این در نمی کنم

گفتم: به به! حالا چکار کنم با این طالع؟ گفت:

زلف بر باد مده تا ندهی بر بادم

ناز بنیاد منه تا نکنی بنیادم

رخ برافروز که فارغ کنی از برگ گلم

قد برافراز که از سرو کنی آزادم

شهره شهر مشو تا ننهم سر در کوه

شور شیرین منما تا نکنی فرهادم

می مخور با دگران تا نخورم خون جگر

سرمکش تا نکشد سر به فلک فریادم

زلف را حلقه مکن تا نکنی در بندم

چهره را آب مده تا ندهی بر بادم

یار بیگانه مشو تا نبری از خویشم

دست گیرم که ز هجر تو ز پا افتادم

چون فلک سیر مکن تا نکشی حافظ را

رام شو تا بدهد طالع فرخ دادم

شمع هر جمع مشو ورنه بسوزی مارا

یاد هر قوم مکن تا نروی از یادم

بله، به چشم

یلدا

یه بهانه دیگه، یه شب دیگه که دور هم باشیم، بگیم و بخندیم. به این فکر کنیم که شب هرقدر سرد و تاریک و طولانی، همدیگر رو داریم و هیچ چیزی نیست که نگرانش باشیم ... یلدا وقت اینه که دوست داشتنهامون و با هم بودنهامون رو تجدید کنیم ... خوش بگذره به همه، منتظر طلوع خورشید فردا هستیم

my best present

Last night I found a friend ... I brought him home ... now we can spend hours together ... thinking about day, about night, about the big picture, about the little details ... I like the way he looks at me and listens ... and although you can't see his eyes, they are kind and thoughtful ... I sound like the little girl who got a Barbie doll for Christmas, but it's ok I am so happy anyway, thank you Santa ... now should I wrap a bow around him and leave him under the tree?

what next?

The only thing in the world I never thought would come with an aromatic aura was hair color. So there you have it! I found that my multi-faceted shimmering colour (I think they will soon run out of space on the box and they'll probably attach a piece of paper with the name or even better use acronyms) now has a pack of fragrance that I should mix with the gel!

sailor

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it!

- Jonathan Winters

hazel eyes

I don't usually buy makeup from stores, at least most of it I have delivered from Yves Rocher. But this time I walked into the store and picked up an eye makeup set for hazel eyes:

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I like the colors in the set, and I like the music ...

water

I watched Memoirs of a Geisha tonight ... water flows from place to place quickly and always finds a crack to spill through ... my zodiac element is water ... water can put out fire and run through earth ... but I already knew that ... no strong performances and no great production work, yet the colors are so enchanting that they leave you with a smile ... reminded me of Gabbe ...

Movie mom's review says: Geishas are not prostitutes - the word means artist. The most successful geisha's command huge sums for their ability to entertain and to charm. Their appeal in part is in what they do not reveal, what they hold back. While they are not chaste - they begin their careers by having their virginity auctioned off to the highest bidder - they are not afterward expected to provide sexual favors. It is this idea of being elusive but not unobtainable (or at least not unobtained) that is a part of their attraction and their power.

It requires strong people to differentiate, and it requires developed souls to endure the strength, the charm ...