time

Finally I think I have learnt, I think I have got the hang of it now. It sure seems as if trying and trying and getting it wrong paid off ... wish me luck ...

ecstasy

As they say ignorance is bliss ...

charity

I have said no to many things in my life, but when it comes to sick or needy children I just CAN'T. I have told myself over and over that I can't care for all the kids in the world no matter how hard I try so I shouldn't feel responsible, but the thought that I might even help one keeps me from saying no ... and every time I think to myself, next time I'll say no ... I kind of know that it won't happen. I guess a part of me is satisfied ...

flash

Wow I can't believe how much my life changes day by day. Each day there is something new and everyday I know I have learnt so much from yesterday. It seems everything is on fast forward ...

courage

I think some people like me just because I do the things they feel they can't do. I know it's just an illusion, I mean, there is nothing special about me that would let me to do something someone else can't. It's just that I allow myself to do it ....

chores

I heard the young light green leaves whispering spring is here in their soft voice and then I saw the trees holding out their arms to the cool breeze, mother nature is sure spreading love these days ... and for a moment it made me forget the hundred and one things that I have to do before I leave ...

!اینهم فال امسال

ای از فروغ رویت روشن چراغ دیده

خوشتر ز چشم مستت چشم جهان ندیده

همچون تو نازنینی سر تا قدم لطافت

... گیتی نشان نداده ایزد نیافریده

شاهد فال:

مزرع سبز فلک دیدم و داس مه نو

یادم از کشته خویش آمد و هنگام درو

گفتم ای بخت بخفتیدی و خورشید دمید

گفت با اینهمه از سابقه نومید مشو

سرود پنجم

اکنون رخت به سراچه آسمانی ديگر خواهم کشيد
آسمان آخرين
که ستاره تنهای آن
توئی.

آسمان روشن
سرپوش بلورين باغی
که تو تنها گل آن، تنها زنبور آنی.
باغی که تو
تنها درخت آنی
و بر آن درخت
گلی است يگانه
که توئی.

ای آسمان و درخت و باغ من، گل و زنبور و کندوی من!
با زمزمه‌ تو
اکنون رخت به گستره‌ خوابی خواهم کشيد
که تنها رويای آن
توئی.

احمد شاملو -

oxygen

As I was driving my car today the check engine sign came on and yes, I panicked. After checking with my mechanic to make sure it was ok to drive, and finishing all my shopping, I came home and surfed the web for answers. It seems that most likely the oxygen sensor has failed, although now that I think of it I will probably need to have the fuel filter replaced too. My poor little car can't breath properly, it needs oxygen!

Searching webpages for answers I came to this: "... the check engine light came on, so I checked the engine and it was still there! ... "

خرسند

تو دلم الان ضیافته. به اندازه همه دنیا کار دارم و می دونم احتمالا خیلیهاش انجام نمی شه ولی باز هم ته دلم شادترین جای دنیاست. می دونم این شروع یه چیز خوبه، می دونم جراتی که به خرج دادم و خیلی جاها زمینم زد اینبار دستم رو گرفت. اگه آخر راه هم همینجا باشه، شادم که یاد گرفتم خوشحال بودن یعنی چی

divorce

You can still see the bitterness between them, but you feel they long for one another at the same time, or at least that's what they feel right now ... like any relationship that comes to an end ... I know the feeling, you wish you could hate the person, you want to be away, but then something inside you says no.
Sitting and thinking and thinking doesn't help. Neither does trying to be logical. You're so at odds with yourself that every time you come to a different conclusion. I don't know what it is, but at a certain point you know that it's time to let go. You know the right thing is to let it pass. Truth is, time heals all those mixed feelings, and when it's all over, you can take all the time you need to make sure you have moved on ...

childish

For crying out loud, what a baby!!!

شبانه روز

خدا یه پولی به من یه عقلی به اینا بده. حالا پول من رو بی خیال عقل عجله است

!روزگار

باید بگم که یا من مستجاب الدعوه شدم یا یه معجزه رخ داده. ولی هر کدوم که باشه قبوله، آرزو کردم و برآورده شد. به این سرعت! چیزی که اصلا فکرش رو هم نمی کردم. یه کم وجدان درد دارم، اما به خدا اصلا درستش همینه ... حالا می بینیم

greetings

One of the great things about days we celebrate is that it gives you an excuse to check on your friends, some of whom you may not be in touch with a lot through the year. After the phone calls I received and the ones I made, the stack of emails I yet have to answer reminds me that there are people around the world who care enough to think of me at such times ... it fills me with joy ... I just finished answering the ones I had received before the New Year, the others I will eventually get to ... what a wonderful chore to have on your to-do list!

transition

I have changed so many times so many ways that I have lost track of it myself. And yet, the music, the music still brings back so many memories from the archives of my mind, sweet and gentle, pure beauty ... I have lived, no, I am living a miracle ...

!مبارکه مبارک

strength

There's a power in knowing what you want ...

home

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know
....
Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
I’ve got to go home

- Michael Buble

ramble

Just on the weekend that I need a little me time to get things done I have so much else to do!

call

He called me and left a message not to call him back and that he will call me ... honestly, I just saw his number and dialed ... I even left a message!

یادبود

دیدی که رسوا شد دلم، غرق تمنا شد دلم

دیدی که من با این دل بی آرزو عاشق شدم
با آنهمه آزادگی بر زلف او عاشق شدم

ای وای اگر صیاد من، غافل شود از یاد من، قدرم نداند
فریاد اگر از کوی خود، وز رشته گیسوی خود، بازم رهاند

این آهنگی است که در مجموعه گلها با صدای مرضیه و آهنگسازی علی تجویدی اجرا شد. علی تجویدی دیروز درگذشت، روانش شاد

سیب

تو به من خنديدي
و نمي دانستي
من به چه دلهره از باغچه همسايه
سيب را دزديم
باغبان از پي من تند دويد
سيب را دست تو ديد
غضب آلوده به من كرد نگاه
سيب دندان زده از دست تو افتاد به خاك
و تو رفتي و هنوز
سالهاست كه در گوش من آرام آرام
خش خش گام تو تكرار كنان
مي دهد آزارم
و من انديشه كنان غرق اين پندارم
كه چرا
خانه كوچك ما سيب نداشت

حمید مصدق -

shimmer

Thinking about time, remember the first day? Remember how you finally made up your mind? How you finally decided that it was time?
It's just over a year that I decided to start writing a blog. Thanks to Ali who gave me the final push and thanks to all of my beautiful wonderful friends, those whom I know in person and those whom I have not met, all of the great people who gave me support, left comments or emailed me to make sure I am ok or expressed joy in my happiness ... it has been an exceptional experience ...
As for now, I plan to continue writing. But if there should come a day that I should let it go, I will know that it helped me pull through hard times, enjoy happy times and celebrate life ... introduced me to new friends, made me think deeper, try to understand others better and get to know myself more ... it has been a thrill ...

so hard to love

Was it some man that didn't treat you right,
left you reaching out for him in the middle of the night
Is there some heartache that you can't out run,
that makes you so afraid to get close to anyone

You're so - easy to look at
You're so easy to hold
It's so easy to touch you,
but so hard to let go
It's so easy to want you,
that I can't get enough

Tell me why do ya have to be
why do ya have to be so hard to love

Is it some hurt from long ago,
that makes it so hard to let your feelings show
Is it the ghost of who you used to be,
that makes you so afraid to bear your soul to me

- Bryan Adams

blessings

I received the first New Year congratulations today, wow, it keeps going by faster and faster ... I am not scared of the end, it's just that I love the current state so much ...

باباطاهر

ز دست دیده و دل هر دو فریاد
که هر چه دیده ویند دل کند یاد
بسازم خنجری نیشش ز فولاد
زنم بر دیده تا دل گردد آزاد

سه درد آمو بجانم هر سه يكبار
غريبي و اسيري و غم يار
غريبي و اسيري چاره ديره
غم يار و غم يار و غم يار

دلم ميل گل و باغ ته ديره
درون سينه ام داغ ته ديره
بشم آلاله زاران لاله چينم
وينم آلاله هم داغ ته ديره

hate

Hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is.

- Bree Van De Camp (Desperate Housewives)

officially

I have been named the social person at school. My friends knew, but I never thought the other students at school would know ... interesting ...

اتمی

یه نفر پیشنهاد کرد سیاست ایران مثل شطرنجه که هر مهره اش جداگانه بازی می کنه! حرف حساب، یا به اصطلاح، یک کلمه هم از مادر عروس

tolerance

It seems to me that I shouldn't have made a big deal about it - of course compared to the usual me it wasn't that bad! No, nothing changed. I am just starting to feel more comfortable with the idea, I guess I can say I am being more understanding ... I am so glad, I want this to work ... oh, so maybe it's because I have decided to make it work this time around ... I mean talking about it, I felt it was ok ...

oddly enough!

I sure did get off the wrong side of the bed this morning. I was so grumpy I kept thinking what I should do to cheer myself up. I couldn't skip school, I had to deliver a letter to someone at school, so I decided that instead I would go to school and get some good reading done which would make me feel pleased with myself. RIGHT!
It was snowing up on the mountain which made me not want to go to our lab in the middle of the forest, so I checked on a friend to see if I could stay in their lab. The sweet girl she is ... honestly I didn't get much reading done. You know, a long lunch break and then a coffee break and a tea break and the group accumulates ... I guess it wasn't my fault, they closed the school due to bad weather conditions and although I am a graduate student I still didn't feel I should be working ... long story short, we're going over to a friends place to celebrate International Woman's Day and watch Walk the Line ... not to mention the nice phone call I got the minute I arrived home ... I am as jolly as can be!

دفاع

منظورشون چیه من واقعا نمی فهمم!!!؟

rumor

Over the past month 4 of my friends deleted their Orkut accounts, I think gossip was a major factor in their decision. So let me add to that: someone told their boyfriend that someone else had hated their date with him. Although he has a girlfriend now, that Mr Boyfriend is mad. The only unknown here is who he is mad at! His girlfriend or the person who never became his girlfriend?!

... من و تو، بارون و درخت

من باهارم تو زمين
من زمینم تو درخت
من درختم تو باهار ــ
ناز انگشتای بارون تو باغم مي‌کنه
ميون جنگلا تاقم مي‌کنه.

تو بزرگی مثِ شب.
اگه مهتاب باشه يا نه
تو بزرگی مثِ شب.

خودِ مهتابی تو اصلاً، خودِ مهتابی تو.
تازه، وقتي بره مهتاب و
هنوز
شبِ تنها
بايد
راه دوری ‌رو بره تا دَم دروازه روز ــ
مثِ شب گود و بزرگی
مثِ شب.

تازه، روزم که بياد
تو تميزی
مثِ شبنم
مثِ صبح.

تو مثِ مخملِ ابری
مثِ بوی علفي
مثِ اون ململِ مه نازکي:
اون ململِ مه
که رو عطرِ علفا، مثل بلاتکليفی
هاج و واج مونده مردد
ميون موندن و رفتن
ميون مرگ و حيات.

مثِ برفايی تو.
تازه آبم که بشن برفا و عُريون بشه کوه
مثِ اون قله‌ مغرور بلندی
که به ابرایِ سياهی و به بادای بدی می‌خندی ...

[]

من باهارم تو زمين
من زمينم تو درخت
من درختم تو باهار،
ناز انگشتای بارون تو باغم می‌کنه
ميون جنگلا تاقم می‌کنه

احمد شاملو -

آرزو

یه آرزو کردم، از اون طرف بوم افتاد - مثل خیلی چیزای دیگه! کسی می دونه میشه به آرزو تبصره ای چیزی اضافه کرد؟

today

اشک

یاد اون آهنگ گوگوش افتادم:

اگر در چشم هم اشکی ببینیم توان رفتن از ما می گریزد

برو بگذار این دیوار کهنه به نام عشق ما در هم بریزد

regression

He fell for her too deep, too fast. He is so blindsided by his feelings that he can't even think clearly. She told him from the start that it wouldn't work out between them, but he didn't want to believe so. Not that I am saying he shouldn't have hoped for the situation to work itself out, but it didn't take long for her not to want to talk to him ... and not that she didn't try, it was just complicated ...

monetary

The Canadian dollar raised to its highest in 14 years. In hope to stabilize that, the target for the overnight rate was kept at 3.5% despite all the rumors about it going up on March 1st. With the prediction that the dollar is to rise in the next couple of months we might see a constant target for overnight rate for a while. Although it's good news for mortgages payers with the inflation rate prediction around 2.8% for the next while I am not quite sure how that is going to play out ... and what will that mean for people traveling back and forth between the US and Canada?

www

The coolest car ad ever and something on quite a different page! Warning: some viewers may find the contents of this page disturbing, viewer discretion is advised.

repeat

I won't do this again, I don't want to and nothing can force me to ...

transition

Take the last look, it's about to change ...

droplets

Spider web - no, not my photography!

evaluation

Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.