هوا

... بوی زمستون می آد. کم کم باید برم سراغ درخت کریسمس

inconstant

It's been over three years now. So much has changed over this time, but the feeling is still the same. I love the place I work in. The photo on the right is the pavement I walk on everyday as I walk to the lab. The photo below is the coffee shop I spend hours of my time studying, talking to friends, thinking and ...

mounted

Other than the fireworks, I had never seen police on horses; I saw two of them patrolling the streets as I was driving by Gas town tonight. Ah,what if I really did live in the 17th century ...

wave

Something's happy, something's exciting, I don't know what yet, but something's different ...

آش رشته

طبق رسم هر سال، امسال هم همه رو واسه افطاری دعوت کردن و آش رشته پختن ... چقدر خوبه اینهمه دوست ... امروز کلا از اون روزایی بود که احساس می کردم هیچی نمی تونه جلوم رو بگیره، می دونین که چی می گم ... چند وقت آینده، تا تصمیمهام رو بگیرم، یک کم پایین بالا داره، ولی چند نفر قراره کمکم بدن. مطمئنم اینجا آثار فکر کردنهام هویدا خواهد بود

balance

The past behind me, the future ahead, and here I am in now ... it's at times of change that you think about the bigger picture of your life. Beautiful and happy, ... and here I stand in now, about to make so many decisions for tomorrow. I wish for strength, for when I decide, and for when I abide by my decisions ...

نصیحت

گره بر باد مزن گرچه بر مراد رود

که این سخن به مثل مور با سلیمان گفت

حافظ -

way to go!

I walked into my supervisor's office to tell him about the course, he smiled at me and said: "You're doing all the right things ... " Imagine the wide smile that put on my face ...

I just sent the most frightening Dracula to a Halloween party; maybe I should do make-up as a part time job ...

now

At this very moment in time, I need a big hug. I need someone to squeeze me tight and tell me that I'll be ok after they leave. I've been grumpy all day and I know very well why; but really, I can't help it, it's too much of a burden for me. I just feel I want to sit somewhere and think about the past and ... I know sooner or later I'll cry about it ...

How come I'd never thought of this day? Why are they all leaving together? Why don't we all live in one big city, then we'd never have to shed tears because someone is going away ... I should pick up the pieces and be strong, but she was a big part of my strength ... maybe I should go to bed now, tomorrow, I'll be better ...

P.S. it's still tonight, a very late night. I am just back from talking to a dear friend, someone who understands the pain as much as I do. Although I am still upset about them leaving, I feel warm inside to know that thier strong arms and warm hearts will shield me from whatever may happen, we're in it together ... I should be thankful that whenever I've needed a hug there has been someone to hold me ...

costume

We are working on my brothers costume for Halloween. He won a prize last year and I think the one this year will be as good if not better ... see it's at times like this that I think I should have a child of my own ...

North Country

I wanted to write about the movie before I went to bed tonight. I could sympathies very closely with the character of the movie. Despite the weak production and the false rating, I think it's a movie everyone should see. The girls should see it to have a close to reality understanding of the very short history of sexual harassment trials and boys should see it to get a distant feeling of what it's like to be a girl in the boys environment. What surprised us all was that the first sexual harassment case was won in 1989; imagine that, no wonder it's still so new to some people ...

I am not a feminist and I even disagree with some of what they stand for. But being a woman in a workspace which someday belonged to men, even in this new era, is tough. I am sure not as hard as it was for my mum or the others who came before us ... I am saying this especially to all the boys who think you can get away with anything as long as you are a girl. We don't want that, trust me, all we want is to have the same rights ...

I am not defending all the women against all the men, and I am not saying that men are to be treated as criminals, but there is still a lot to be done for most women until they feel safe and equal ...

sports

I am not going skiing this season and I've given up most of the outdoor activities I had during the Summer. I did go running in the gorgeous weather yesterday, but how many days can I expect it to be like this in the Winter? Well, I will be taking more dance lessons and maybe I can replace skiing with ice skating, but I'd really love to play some indoor sports, maybe ping pong or tennis or I could even take up squash. Problem is, I guess we don't find that much time in the group I used to play in and with the little time we have we'd rather sit around and chat ...

personal

It was too personal, I shouldn't have talked about it and these things don't come out right anyway. People, they make you say things you want to keep to yourself, especially with someone like me who trusts everyone; I thought I had learnt a lesson!

rejoice

I still haven't figured what is so special about this photo, but I just love it. I keep going back to take a look ... hmmm, weird you'd say for a photo of yourself! I totally agree ...

weekend!

What a thrill, I really need some work days to get over this weekend. Actually, it started on Friday.

Friday was a very good example of a day you think you have all planned out and nothing, and I mean nothing, happens like you thought it would. Kind of like your life, you have a great time just not the way you had planned it and once again you learn that you don't always make the decisions ...

Long story short, I ended up going to the theater to see The Death of Yazdgerd by Bahram Beyzaie. In one word, it was awesome. The translation, although not perfect, was very good and the performances were breathtaking. I should add the fact that I am by no means a "theater person" and I expected to be rather bored by the end. Maybe I should see the movie itself ...

The highlight of Saturday was the sunrise I watched in Stanley park. For those who don't live in Vancouver, Stanley park is a very important part of our lives here ... think of Central park in New York with the difference that it is very accessible to everyone probably because Vancouver is a smaller city. I wish I had my camera because there is no way I can describe what I saw. The Sun above the water, the boats, the birds, the people, the Seagull, the music, the autumn colored leaves and the cool breeze ...

From the beginning of Ramazan I decided to fast on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. And since I am one of the luckiest people on the planet, I have been going to Eftar at people's places non stop! Tonight we were in UBC ... and it's back to work, I feel like it's been ages since I did anything related to school ...

right time?

It has always been a topic of discussion between us, what is the right age to have a child? Common knowledge is that you should have your first child before the age of 30, but how does that fit into today's life style? Most likely by 30 we are just out of school with a PhD degree struggling with our pride and the reality that there is no red carpet laid out for us ... so we are not financially, emotionally or even physically ready to be a parent.

Personally, I love kids and would love to have a child of my own very soon. Putting aside the fact that I still don't have a partner to have children with - like that is a small problem! - I can't seem to be able to fit that anywhere into my schedule! and by that I mean having a child ...

At least talking to my friends and knowing that everyone faces the same dilemma, I feel a little more relaxed ... reading this I am getting more comfortable with having a baby between the ages of 30 and 35 ...

P.S. Thanks for the link Pedram.

graduate photo board

As I take down some photos and put up new ones I think of the memories I have had with some of these people. No one will believe how much thought goes through my mind as I complete the board. The photos come down after people convocate, so it's kind of, the last sign of the person in the department. I guess they've moved to a new stage in their life ... I don't know why it reminds me of falling leaves even when I do it in Spring or Summer ... anyway, the photo board is completed for now ... until new students come in ...

pattern

When you first meet someone and get to know them a little, it's like watching the ocean from a distance. Perfect, just as you would have imagined it. As time goes by, you get closer and notice the sea weed and debris floating in the water. You get the feeling you should step away. But if you don't, if you walk long enough to reach the water, you'll feel the magnificence of the ocean. You can still see the sea weed, but you can swim into the ocean and forget about it. It's not perfect, you know that, but it's satisfying and what you desire ... it's friendship ...

"Friendship is when people know all about you and still like you."

dream

I dreamt of horses running in a field. They were beautiful and strong. In my dream, I knew that someone had asked me to go riding. As I got off the horse I was thinking what a good idea, I should do this more often. It's so joyful.

I looked around. The fields were green and the Sun was shining down ... maybe it was heaven I was dreaming of ...

خاک

شهرم*، اونجا که توش به دنیا اوندم. اونجا که وقتی دلم می گیره بهش فکر می کنم. اونجا که همه چیزش رو دوست دارم چون به نظرم بی ریا و مهربونه ... حتی همه آدمهاش رو، حتی ... همه آدمهاش رو. هرقدر هم که دلخورم کرده باشن، بازهم از همون خاک سرشته شدن، از خاک تنم

از اینجا *

باران

غریب آمدی و آشنا رفتی
اما من که خوب می شناسمت ری را
گفتی بنویس
من شمال زاده شدم
اما تمام دریاهای جنوب را من گریسته ام

سید علی صالحی -

what you get

You don't take what you're given, you choose what you want ...

نامه

صد نامه فرستادم و آن شاه سواران

پیکی ندوانید و پیامی نفرستاد

حافظ -

goodbye party

We danced, we sang, we laughed and I cried. We all had such a wonderful time; I realized I had missed this so much. I know I will probably miss them even more than I can think of right now ...

I went back today to gather everything and clean up ... I sat there and thought about it. About those who are dear to me, the people I care about so much ... I looked around the room and perceived how I adore these people and that there is no feeling stronger than what we experience when we're together ...

quoted price

Are gas prices coming down or is this just a delusion? And if they really are, will all the companies that increased their rates because of fuel prices be cutting back? I don't believe so ...

خواستگار

تو ایران خیلی عجیب نبود اگه آرایشگر آدم" کسی" رو معرفی می کرد ولی اصلا فکر نمی کردم اینجا هم از این اتفاقها بیفته!؟

where?

He asked me why I didn't go to the States to do my PhD. He told me that I should have moved to a university with a big name. He questioned the fact that despite my abilities I would settle for what I have ...

He didn't mean it in a bad manner. He's one of the sweetest beings on the planet. He just thinks I deserve more than I have ... well, yes, I was flattered, but ...

I told him that I like it here. I told him that I went to those universities with big names. I told him that I didn't like the lifestyle of my friends who live there. In a simple sentence, it didn't attract me ... Maybe it's the city here, maybe it's the people, maybe it's the life ...

I remember when I was coming to Canada everyone asked: "How come you changed your mind and decided to go to Canada?" I told them, I found a supervisor, we are both excited to work together. I still feel the same, I don't want to go anywhere else, where would I go? ...

pages

Never ever would I have thought that a digital photo album would make me so happy so many days of my life. A special thanks to Roozbeh for setting it up.

حُسن

:خواجه حافظ می فرماید

چو در رویت بخندد گل، مشو در دامش ای بلبل

که بر گل اعتمادی نیست گر حسن جهان دارد

اگر جز خواجه کسی گفته بود بحث می کردم که جفای گل ... ولی حالا دیگه چیزی نمی شه گفت

helpless

Outlook Express is acting out again. I can only send emails, I can't receive them! It declines all my passwords! Once again, just as I thought nothing could add a twist to my overloaded workday, it turns out there is even more!

P.S. It turns out it wasn't that hard a day anyway! We sat together to go over the assignment, one that I thought I had no idea about and ... it seems I had it all figured out! so smile!

تعطیلی

!اینجا عید تعطیل شد. حالا باید رو سیزده بدر کار کنیم

together

Two of our friends are moving away ... it was great that we got to spend thanksgiving as a family, maybe it will never happen that we can all be together ... I'm sure we'll all remember the night when the turkey had eight thighs ...

Thanksgiving

There's so much to be thankful for ... may I wish us all the wisdom to understand our happiness and to be thankful for it ... Amen ...

شکر شکر به شکرانه بیفشان حافظ

که نگار خوش شیرین حرکاتت دادند

irresistible

I went to pick up the cake from Candiz for the party. I just couldn't resist it ... I found myself standing on the suspention bridge with a cup of coffee. Oh God, there is nothing like it ...

challenge

So Stanford University came out first in the DARPA Grand Challenge; another military aided project, or at least another military motivated competition. Probably, there will soon be a project underway ...

A lot of the work I do - wireless communication - started with military aided projects. What I am working on now - sensor networks - is still of great interest to the military. That means if you want the big bucks you've got to get on board. I am still not there, but if I ever have to make a decision, I really don't know if I can convince myself that it's ok ...

smile

I woke up smiling ... when I look in the mirror I feel beautiful, I like the person who smiles back at me ...

morality

I knew I liked Richard Vaughan - I don't know him personally, just his work - but this just made me respect him more ...

tree

Oak Street, Vancouver, BC, Canada

WHY DO I LOVE THIS PICTURE SO MUCH?

people ...

• She calls herself Sam and dresses like boys. She has half a dozen earrings and a chin earring. You can be almost sure she's a lesbian, but it's ok with me to work with her. I think I've changed a lot, it doesn't bother me any more. I think I have learnt to like people unconditionally.
• He didn't believe me when I told him I am coming out of my Salsa class. When I insisted, he just smiled and said: "ok."
• She acts kind and loving. For a long time I thought of her as a nice dependable person. Turns out a lot of what I had thought of as her being just unthoughtful was more than that. She's a player, a good one; had me there for a while! I guess it's not the first time, I fall for that a lot. Why haven't I learnt? or maybe why don't I learn not to trust people? Because I don't want to ...
• It was his convocation today. I love him like my little brother. Such a sweetheart. I stood in the rain to make sure we had a few good pictures of him; it didn't even feel cold afterwards.
• Every time she comes to lock the chairs and tables together and finds me sitting there, she smiles and shows me the locks. I get up and go for a stroll as she ties up the cafe furniture ... she probably thinks I don't have a lab to work in.
• He's just a normal person, just normal. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing, and yet everyone loves him ...
• You don't really know what you're going to get when you see her. It's like the weather in Vancouver ...

یادته؟

یادته چی بود؟ یادته چجوری بود؟

cloudy

It's cloudy and windy outside and I haven't seen the Sun today; yet I have that tingly happy feeling inside me. Like the anticipation before something exciting ...

moto

I feel so proud when I know I have been the motivation behind someone's success ...

آبی

... نه به آبی ها دل خواهم بست، نه به دریاها

سهراب -

walk

"But before I die, I want to fight for life. If I can walk on my own, I can go wherever I like."

Eleven Minutes, Paulo Coelho

خودشناسی

:یک تست خودشناسی دادم

فعال و اجتماعی

به ریسک در زندگی علاقه مندید. دوست دارید کارهای متفاوت و جالبی انجام دهید و یا از دیگران بیاموزید. از یکنواختی زندگی بیزارید و دوست دارید نقش فعالی در کارها داشته باشید مایلید در همه کارها پیشقدم باشید

معقول و سازگار

در زندگی به رفتار و عشق ساده و بی پیرایه اهمیت می دهید. دیگران به شما اعتماد می کنند. به دوستان نزدیک خود امنیت و آرامش می دهید. اطرافیان به عنوان شخصی خونگرم و با محبت شما را تحسین می کنند. از موارد پیش پا افتاده و کلیشه ای دوری می نمایید. لباس و پوشش شما ساده ولی آراسته است

memories

I got home made myself some Ginseng tea and sat down to check my emails ... I can't believe it's been so many years. We went to Shiraz I think in 2000 and he emailed us with some photos today ...

One morning we walked into the restaurant to find this on the wall ... we used to sing "faghat be khatere to" all the time ... I miss the gang so much ...

ballet

If I was to define grace, I would think of ballet ... We went to see Swan Lake, the beautiful classic by Tchaikovsky ... amazing ...

surrender

... and I thought my life was complicated!