now

At this very moment in time, I need a big hug. I need someone to squeeze me tight and tell me that I'll be ok after they leave. I've been grumpy all day and I know very well why; but really, I can't help it, it's too much of a burden for me. I just feel I want to sit somewhere and think about the past and ... I know sooner or later I'll cry about it ...

How come I'd never thought of this day? Why are they all leaving together? Why don't we all live in one big city, then we'd never have to shed tears because someone is going away ... I should pick up the pieces and be strong, but she was a big part of my strength ... maybe I should go to bed now, tomorrow, I'll be better ...

P.S. it's still tonight, a very late night. I am just back from talking to a dear friend, someone who understands the pain as much as I do. Although I am still upset about them leaving, I feel warm inside to know that thier strong arms and warm hearts will shield me from whatever may happen, we're in it together ... I should be thankful that whenever I've needed a hug there has been someone to hold me ...