rephrase
I hadn't been able to phrase it before although I had looked for the right words ... "Marriage is a partnership not a competition". It's good to have it here as a reference ...
posted by dokhtare aftab at 4:54 p.m.
دختر آفتاب
i like to communicate with others, it's what i define as being alive ....
12 Comments:
Yes, and in any this kind of partnership, there should be some elements of at least
"compensation" if not sacrifise.
compensation, sacrefice...why!?
asoo, because you want to keep a relationship, you want your partner to feel your love and you want to feel it in return ...
"Let each person in relatinship worry not about the other, but only,only,only about self"
khoda, no wonder you're alone
..Trust me there is no goal for relationships of "any kind" than the conceptualization of "Self"...
well then that is one more thing we disagree about ...
Ai val Khoda!
dokhatre aftab! I guess that this cycle may cause problems if becomes the goal instead of the effect or result..why most couples follow these classical definitions and they give up sooner and later? why should we want something that is not under our control? what if this wanting make us expecting the other side to change(so we can feel the love) and vice versa we change (constantly) to keep the same feeling on the other side?
then where is your"self"?
what if we lose "self" in such a loop?, as most do lose...
why should n't both side just worry about "self" and let the relationship give both the greatest chance to experince "self"..
well, heyrani, I see your point. I think the couple's worlds should not be so far apart to result in such self destruction in part of any of them. However, giving up some selfishness is necessary to achieve a higher degree of "mutual objectives".It's like any other cooperative phenomena, you cannot get "maximum" in all aspects. You have to be able to trade off some times. I think that this stress on persuing "self", is a result of the fact that "self" was so suppressed when we were growing up in Iran. However, I think it's better to be balanced.
...be not selfish but self centred...
I guess, I agree with the last part of what you said Pedram..and maybe this is not a proper place for such a discussion..
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